Friday, December 24, 2010

A Snowless Christmas

Another week has come and gone from the place i was when i left you. actually it's been a year. no hearing you. no seeing you. only wondering what you are up to. it sickens me to think of you when you have not reached out to me.

try is a word, those who do not achieve use;

however, those who have tried are a step above you. i received nothing from you for years. not even a note with just a smile. god knows i can't contact you. i've tried calling. you changed phone lines. emails bounce back. now i wonder if you think of me.

i question this in most of my spare moments.

do you think of me at all? who did you become, are you original? are we at all alike? did i become you originally? no, i'm every one i've ever met. happy or sad, saint or sinner. i must be a piece of you, but i'm afraid that piece is the size of my shortest finger nail. why has your effect on me been so small?

it haunts me till i can't hold my tears back.
even if you hate me or hold some animosity against me i wish i knew you thought of me. you've made me feel like i am in a deep hole unable to climb out and all i need is a hand, your hand to reach out to me.

it's what breaks me up the most.
when i ask people why you and i are like this they say because your in a deeper hole and you expect me to reach out.
i did
my attempts received judgmental looks.

i don't think they ever noticed.
i am out of their lives.

asking questions no longer gets me through.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

To Wake Up in the Desert

To wake up in the desert
from night I do recall
the hills were alive
with a raven's eyes
they were desolate, damned
with a heat and scorching
of fray
the wind is less than lively
when is a zephyr a proof of life?
We think of what used to be
These hills were under an ocean
their hopes were on the shore.

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Day the World Was on Fire

Lungs of oil
Fear with flame
Add another dollar to a weary name
There is no revenge on the untamed
The day the world
Was on fire
Was the night
I couldn't
sleep

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Reverbere

I've been dreaming of the street light
Shining not so dimly, even in the snow
I wake up, and I'm already at the window
Nearly dawn, and I'm reminded that you aren't here
You don't come here anymore
I want to watch out for you
call out for you
through this icy window pane
I want to break through
to shatter this icy window pane for only me


and nobody not even the rain